Stoppie

I almost didn't make it into work today.

There I am, tootling along through St. Leonards, cursing a driver who was trying to muscle his way out of a junction by inching out in front of me (it really irritates me when people do that - if his foot had to slipped off the clutch, his car would have lurched forward and struck me as I passed - learn some patience!).

Suddenly this guy, who was previously parked on double-yellow lines, just jumps out in front of me without indicators or even looking. He's right across both lanes and making a ninety-degree turn. The idiot didn't even look to see if there was any traffic coming.

I grabbed the front brake lever as quickly as possible, slamming my foot down on the rear brake pedal, too surprised to utter profanity under my breath. I stopped about two feet from the driver-side door. Still the moron hasn't noticed the hulking great Versys growling at him.

He did look over his shoulder when he had driven half way into the next street. He did a comical double-take, a gormless look of incomprehension plastered across his face.

The thing that really scared me though, wasn't the fact that I had to pull an emergency stop. That was almost something you could hand-wave. No. I didn't realise it until I felt my rear suspension bounce heavily after braking, but my back wheel wasn't on the fucking ground. I'd had to brake so hard that I'd inadvertently pulled a stoppie right in the middle of the road.

I was so shocked that it was a few seconds before I could centre myself and honk my horn in futility, glaring at the receding tail-lights of the thoughtless cager.

Mother. Fucker. I would have taken a fist-full of throttle and followed him (intending only to impart some very stern words), but I've done that before after a near-miss; if the motorist who almost killed you is intent on avoiding the consequences of their actions (as so many today are wont to do) then you ending up almost killing yourself by following them through busy traffic and dangerous junctions.

So the witless wanker's punishment will just have to remain a particularly brutal case of u-lock justice in my imagination.

Just please, please, please remember to LOOK before you turn or change lane or whatever. This guy didn't look twice for bikes; he didn't even look once. At least looking once is a start.