The other evening I was invited to see the operetta "Die Fledermaus", which I did. It was the first time I'd ever seen an operetta, so I suppose it will set my level of expectation for any I see in the future. But that is not the subject of this post.
I was invited by Nick's mum, since she was part of the performance. She often introduces me as "number one and a half son" and likes to take the role of surrogate mother. Fair enough. She also suggested that, since I'd attended the event, that I should also catch the after-show party at her house to meet the entire cast.
I'm not much of a social machine, so I stuck to the sidelines during the party and just chatted with Nick for most of the evening.
We had just finished speaking about how people act according to what is expected of them instead of how they would naturally act. I had said that I have a strong disliking for the way men are expected to start acting like sex-mad idiots at the first sign of overt femininity. If I remember correctly, my words were along the lines of:
"I hate the idea that every male has to start drooling whenever they see an even slightly attractive woman. And because of the way I feel about it, I can be sensitive to the idea of being regarded as that sort obsessed maniac. I always try my hardest not to be seen as that sort of guy."
It was then that Nick's mum walked in to introduce us to the leading actress in Die Fledermaus. First she introduced Nick, "number one son"; then me "number one-and-a-half son who came and saw the operetta last night". I was about to say hello when the introduction was punctuated with "so he was sitting in the aisles drooling over you last night. I sold him on the account that you'd be wearing thigh-high boots and a catsuit..."
I think my face probably froze at that very moment. I'm sure Nick's mum thought it was just a joke, but it felt a little more like a kick in the 'nads to me. Especially thanks to the timing of the whole thing.
Monday, 31 May 2010
The Exact Opposite
Posted by Headhanger
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3 comments:
I'm sure you later came up with several responses that would have been ideal. Personally I think I would have had to go with "You're definitely my surrogate mum, trying to embarrass me like that!"
I know what you mean though. Personally I try to strike a balance between the stereotypical behaviour and something considerably more sterile. It's a complicated dance of trying to ensure it's outwardly visible that I'm heterosexual whilst not going too overboard and compromising my personal behaviour protocols.
I say "outwardly visible" not because I'm not heterosexual, but because I like plenty of things that traditionally aren't associated with straight men whilst also disliking most team sports, etc..
You seem to have taken the words right out of my mouth.
We seem to be treating homosexuality as some kind of fatal contagion, and trying our hardest not to be mistakenly diagnosed with it by our peers.
I appreciate the comment. The Internet is good for letting us know we're not alone.
For me it's both about dominance - I tend to become the alpha in any given group I'm part of - and also about finding a partner. Currently I have a girlfriend so it is less of an issue, but normally I would want it to be clear that I am available and interested in women, as amusingly lame as that sounds.
I'm neither knuckle-dragging, nor overly effeminate, or at least that's the general balance I try to achieve.
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